Orgasms After Menopause: How to Keep Your Sex Life Satisfying

As menopause approaches, you may worry your sex life will change for the worse. Menopause is defined as having no period for a year. The years leading up to it, known as perimenopause, are marked by symptoms like sleep issues, hot flashes, and irregular periods. These normal changes can negatively impact your sexual desire and pleasure. But, it is not true that you can’t orgasm after menopause. Orgasms and great sex are still possible.

For more satisfying sex, solo or partnered, try these tips:

Use lubrication to ease vaginal dryness and discomfort during penetrative sex.
Experiment with direct stimulation of the clitoris, such as touching, rubbing, or stroking.
Incorporate oral sex and/or vibrators to boost sensitivity and wetness.
Prioritize non-physical intimacy, such as sensual massages, baths, and talking dirty.

Where does this misconception stem from?

Many believe this misconception stems from the physical changes that occur during menopause, such as vaginal dryness and decreased blood flow to the vagina and clitoris. Additionally, there are emotional changes that can decrease sexual desire and make it harder to achieve orgasm.

What might make orgasm more difficult during this time?

Physical menopause symptoms such as vaginal dryness, vaginal tightness, and incontinence can make orgasm more difficult. Additionally, emotional changes such as loss of libido or decreased arousal can also make orgasm harder to achieve.

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Handling Menopause Symptoms: Solutions for Your Sexual Health

Vaginal dryness: Lubrication is key when dealing with dryness. Look for thicker lubricants to increase pleasure and reduce discomfort. Avoid scented or flavored lubricants to prevent irritation. Silicone-based lubricants are longer-lasting and hypoallergenic. If the lube doesn’t work, consider estrogen cream prescribed by your doctor.
Vaginal tightness: Regular sexual activity, whether solo or with a partner, can prevent tightness. Consider using smoother glass sex toys or experimenting with different positions. Oral sex or mutual masturbation can also be enjoyable alternatives to penetration.

Incontinence: Kegel exercises can strengthen the pelvic floor and reduce urinary leakage. Having a towel or cloth nearby and a sense of humor can also help.
Loss of libido or decreased arousal: Medications and mood changes can affect libido. Check with a healthcare professional about medication alternatives. Talk to a therapist or mental health professional about stress, depression, or anxiety. Reading or watching erotica, or sharing sexual fantasies with a partner, can also help increase desire.

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Are there any positive sexual changes that might occur during this time?

During menopause, you may discover positive sexual changes. You may have a better understanding of what you like and dislike sexually, and your self-confidence and self-awareness may be stronger than before. This increased confidence can help you to be more open and communicate better with your partner. Furthermore, if you have raised children who have left home, you may have more privacy and leisurely intimate experiences rather than feeling rushed due to the presence of family members.

Is there anything you can try during solo sex?

Solo sex can be an empowering and enjoyable activity. Even if you have a partner, set aside time to explore your body through masturbation. Focus on what feels good and it may become easier to orgasm without frustration. Enhancing your arousal and satisfaction can be done through the use of sex toys such as vibrators and dildos.

What about during partner sex?

Effective communication is crucial during partner sex, especially during menopause. Share with your partner(s) about the changes you are experiencing and how they affect you to reduce stress on your relationship. Regular communication can also boost emotional intimacy and strengthen your physical connection. By openly discussing, you can explore solutions together such as experimenting with different positions, types of touch, erogenous play, and setting aside time for sex. Consider browsing sex toy shops together as a fun way to discover new things to try.

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Sexual health during menopause and beyond

It’s important to maintain sexual health during menopause and beyond. This includes regular gynecological exams and screenings, as well as addressing any physical or emotional issues that may be impacting sexual function.